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Strange Is Safe

by Marck Rivers

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1.
Chump Change 02:45
Chump Change sits by himself in a hallway Chump Change repeats an optimistic "always" Chump Change blindly carries on Chump Change doesn't realize she's gone. He was never enough he tried to act so tough but there are more important things than the pride of Chump Change. Chump Change goes solo on the sidewalk Chump Change repeats he doesn't want to talk Chump Change bleakly carries on Chump Change just found out she's gone. He was never enough he tried to act so tough but there are more important things than the tears of Chump Change. He was never enough he tried to act so tough but there are more important things than Chump Change.
2.
Squished 02:45
the things that I would do to you if I weren't bent on following rules the warmth you make me feel, the glow - I might just even say "hello". it's true, me and you, we're electricity <except the part where there's no connection> I'm always kicking myself like we're saying goodbye and then we're walking in the same direction every time you smile it makes my day suddenly an awesome day I want to be the best for you but we're not friends and you might not even want to touch me on the shoulder and say "hey are you okay" i'll say i'm working on it but that day is not today you've heard of crushes, let's call this a "squish"- i'm not out for love, i'm just looking for friendship I'm trying my best not to screw this up as if acquaintanceship had to be maintained! logic's been defenestrated and i'm throwing myself a million petty complaints every time you furrow your brow my heart sinks even further down I want to be the best for you but we're not friends and you might not even want to It kinda sucks being painfully shy I can't look anyone in the eye I think about interactions for days and conclude that it's better if I just never open my mouth I have a lot of opinions that I keep to myself I want to tell you but who knows if you'd listen? "playing it cool" isn't in my vocabulary - I hardly know the definition When I asked and you said okay, I hope you meant it but it's hard to say I want to be the best for you, but we're not friends and you might not even want to Every time you furrow your brow my heart sinks even further down I want to be the best for you but we're not friends and you might not even want to.
3.
That's me being invincible That's me falling apart That's me trying to get my mind off my potentially broken heart That's me thinking that I can do anything That's me flying too close to the sun That's me realizing that I'm not a good guy and if I don't think so, why should anyone? Covering my face may lower visibility I think I'm overwhelmed again, my disability you look at me with I can't tell if it's intrigue or pity cause they look the same, when even your name is Shitty I wear it like a badge of dishonour, on my face "Everyone look over here at your local disgrace!" I feel like a fraud despite the efforts to show you my sleeves cause one false move from me could be when you decide to leave. I don't know what you see in me you must be thinking of someone else the only thing I'm positive of is my negative sense of self. That's me being invincible; that's me falling apart; That's me trying to keep my mind off my potentially broken heart That's me thinking that I can do anything That's me flying too close to the sun That's me realizing that I'm not a good guy and if I don't think so, why should anyone? I'm trying my best to live my life in a vacuum Hiding in the open, living in the back room There's a sign on the door that says "Feel Free To Disturb" but what that sign implies is a title that I don't deserve. If time is money I'm filing for bankruptcy and selling the house I'm tearing off the smile that's been drawn on the tape over my mouth I don't know what you see in me you must be thinking of someone else The only thing I'm positive of is my negative sense of self. (I just want to be good enough don't want to be the bottom of the barrel that you're scraping I just want to do great things Don't want you to give up on me Can't get caught up in my deceit I'll be the best I can be.)
4.
Committed 05:22
It's something bigger than me, it's something bigger than you. It's more than just what I wish I could or couldn't do. When the world crashes down around us, we will remember the ones who found us - but when that time comes I wonder who would follow through. The fights are hideous, people insidious, a doomsday every day It's not enough to sit and hope that all of it will promptly go away I wish that things could change, but I'm a little late, a naive thing to say. They prey on our fears this impossible year, but we are stronger than them. We need heroes but all we have are people who died. We need answers but all we ever get are lies. Sometimes solutions just pour out of you - other times you only do what you can do - and times like this all that you can do is to try. Between the offers and the empty promises to make life great again, the thrones could wrongly fill with knights of ignobility whose hate won't end We see no other way, weasels and parrots say we'll have to wait til then They prey on our fears this impossible year, but we are stronger than Liars and Cheaters and Cold Bottom Feeders Rattlesnake Charmers and Blond Suits of Armour Angels and Sinners and Losers and Winners Monsters and Robots and Thanksgiving Dinners Wet Socks and Dry Eyes and Handshakes and Goodbyes Exes and Best Friends and New Blood and Has Beens and Headlines and Footnotes and Heroes and Villains and feeling pretentious for having opinions...
5.
Floating 03:10
the change of season always drags me under and my heart is in the heavyweight division the stars' collision asks a question with every single burst of spontaneity "hey it's me just checking in just making sure you're still awake" i block it's more communication than I think I can take a disappointment might be all I'll ever be and the fact she's still around is a miracle that kills me. but it's so unreal the way she walks sixteen inches above the ground i wonder how i want to be her for a second just to understand the clouds follow me around despite the best attempts to bloom this is a stormy winter, and spring may not follow through i wish that i could float away the way that she does i wish that i could never land. i wonder how she does it, how the equinox can feed her instead of feeding on her i'm not a goner yet but i can't handle weather changes the way she can march be damned i wonder how long it was that i did not exist hanging around like i was some sort of masochist and how many days went by without her knowing exactly how shittily everything was going. but it's so unreal the way she walks sixteen inches above the ground i wonder how i want to be her for a second just to understand the clouds follow me around despite the best attempts to bloom this is a stormy winter, and spring may not follow through i wish that i could float away the way that she does i wish that i could never land. we are all secondary to someone else's story filling roles of every category we could be stagehands, cameos, the love interest, the gay best friend, or even the antagonist the wind starts picking up and i have a sinking feeling anchored to the ground: bodies that were never found i never thought i'd have it worse than junior year i watch her disappear and she is floating away and i will never see her again and she will never hear me again and i will never speak again.

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released November 4, 2016

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Marck Rivers Seattle, Washington

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